The worst sex of my life (inner game breakthrough)

Many guys I have met comment on how “rock solid” my inner game is and want to know what courses I took or what books I read to get there.

The truth is I didn’t do either of those things.

I had learned throughout the years that the only way to get good at something is to practice it, eg. martial arts and firearms training. My confidence in those skill sets came from my competence. As my shot groups got tighter, faster, and from further away of course I got more confident in my skills.

I also knew that it was a waste of time to compare myself to anyone. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu there were always going to be guys who would be better than me. Whether they were training for a longer or shorter time. All that mattered was that I was better than I was last week, or last month, or last year.
It also just naturally clicked in my head that even if I was just able to hang a little longer before getting tapped out in class, THAT was something to be proud of.  Soon I was rolling and guys who use to be able to tap me out 10 times in a row, were REALLY struggling to get me to tap a few times, or not at all. THAT was something to be proud of.
Soon I was starting to tap some guys out, and once again that small goal gave me a positive feeling and reinforced my decision to train. SO when I got into Pick Up and had my eye opening revelation that this IS something you can learn, I carried over the lessons I had already learned while mastering or becoming proficient in others skill sets.
I am sure you can find something that resonates with you. Playing music, golf, surfing, hell even playing Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat.  At first you are getting your ass kicked, but soon you start beating players, then the game, then you get to the point where you can beat the game with any character.

I also had amazing breakthrough one day.

Before I was the type of guy who was ALWAYS worried about what other people thought of me. If I was walking to class and tripped and people saw it, I would be mortified for the rest of the day.
I could never run out the door, I ALWAYS had to take time getting ready. Not saying you shouldn’t care what you look like and always try to look your best, but I would not go do something like run to the bank if I only had a few minutes before closing, because I didn’t have time to take a shower or do my hair.
Even something like picking my nose in my car (again not saying you should) but I was too worried what the person in the car next to me would think to even TRY it, even though I would never see them again seconds later.

I decided to start living my life for ME.

I realized that for a long time I had been giving control of my life over to others. I was thinking and acting how I thought other people would respond positively to, and then it hit me.

I was letting my brain convince me that it knew what complete strangers where thinking which then led to me changing my behavior.

Think about that for a second. I was giving control of my life over to people I would never see again. The worst part was, I wasn’t even really giving them control, I was giving control to what I THOUGHT they were thinking, and that is a crazy way to live.
So once I had that revelation I knew the next step was to start working on my competency in hitting on girls, and the only way to do that is to go out and try it…a lot!
———-
I also told you guys that I would share with you the story about the chick who stood me up…I really didn’t want to write the whole story out but feel like I have to now.
———-
So I was still hung up on the girl who stood me up on New Years. She was 20 years old, really hot, had a giant rack.  She also played video games and was into anime, even doing some cosplay dress up (and was one of the hottest of them)
So when she called me a few weeks after New Years and apologized, I was trying to not cave but her bod, just getting divorced and knowing my X was already with a new guy, and not having any other options or choices with women at the time, led to giving her another chance.
She “had never done this before, felt horrible, and was going to make it up to me”. She promised that she was going to “take me to her favorite Mexican food place and would pay for dinner”. I said sure and we made plans.

We hit the restaurant a few days later. It was a little hole in the wall place and the food was HORRIBLE. I know good Mexican food and this place sucked (she burned me again! LOL)
Right as the bill was coming she got up to go to the bathroom…
There was NO WAY I was going to pay for this shitty food so I waited….and waited.
The waiter comes by and clears the table and looks at the check….looks at me and walks away.
He comes by at least 2 more times and I am just sitting there waiting (before iPhones so just sitting there)
It is now almost 10 f___ing minutes I have been sitting there waiting and all I can think of is she is in the bathroom and reliving the scene from Dumb and Dumber and having explosive diarrhea.
She also didn’t have a purse so there was no way she had any baby wipes with her,  so was already thinking the worst.

FINALLY she comes out, pays the bill and acts like she was gone for 20 seconds.
We end up leaving and heading back to my place. All my brain is thinking about is what I imagined happening in that bathroom….
Soon we end up back at my place and we hang out for a little, then we end up getting close and making out.

We end up in my bed and all I can think about is my x-wife, this chick’s long minute trip to the bathroom doing God knows what to that toilet, no baby wipes, how I am going to have to wash my sheets as soon as she leaves….

Which of COURSE results in the worst sex I have ever had in my entire life.

It’s over in less than 3 minutes, but thinking it was closer to 2 minutes…
I roll over and tell her
“……..I’m……..I’m sorry……….”
Needless to say I never heard from her again.
I also threw my sheets in the washer as soon as she left.
It took several dates and a few girls before I started to feel my mojo coming back, which is why I recommend getting those bad dates and sex out of the way ASAP after a painful break up.

-from the archive, originally posted in 2011

10 thoughts on “The worst sex of my life (inner game breakthrough)

  1. This is an interesting insight into a guy who I always thought had a really strong core. It seemed almost nothing phased him. Its great to know and understand his perspective on life and how much time, pain, and endurance it took for him to overcome these obstacles.
    It just goes to show with the right mindset, a lot of things are possible— not just in the scope of picking up women, but life in general. The skills I have learned over the past 3 to 4 weeks have been innumerable— being cognizant of what I’m saying, how I’m saying it gives me a better understanding on how to function and even thrive socially.
    I’ve been lucky to get to know Bravo and see how he breaks down his interactions with people. He knows his stuff and is one of the most genuine people I’ve met.
    If you’re looking to make a true difference in your dating life— and much beyond, this is where your journey begins.
    AND NO, Bravo didn’t tell me to say this, its what I feel I’m compelled to let people know.

  2. This is what it is all about. Who cares what someone who has no control of your world thinks of you. Once you learn that you are on the road to GREATNESS.
    Try this. I used to play a fun game with my brother and Uncle when I was younger, still do its heaps of fun.
    Drive though the Maccas Drive Thru and get your mate to give you a random work that you have to use twice in your order. The more ridiculous the better. Then use it. You would be surprised how nerve racking it can be when you have to say a word like “barracuda” twice to a random person,lol. And the result can be hilarious. I once ordered a sexual chocolate milkshake, lol, twice.
    It’s a silly game but it’s a perfect example of that it doesn’t matter what you say to a random stranger. You’re never going to see them again.
    Just get out there, get out of your head, and have fun. You are the master of your own reality; never give this privilege to anyone else.

  3. I feel ya Flash
    To me, the picking your nose in the car is such a great example.
    I could be DYING and would even touch my nose because I was worried what people would think.
    Was thinking that would be a good drill, to go out and do disgusting stuff like that, or pretend to, to get over the fear of being judged. (like wearing a dildo on your head)
    I even use to not eat food in the car, and let my delicious french fries get cold, because was so worried that the person in the next car would think I was a fatass!
    NOW- at a recent PUA seminar I was out in the club that night with some students. They were worried about being judged. I explained all of this to them. How EVERYONE is thinking the same thing- THEY are worried about being judged. Also how once you leave almost 100% chance you will never see any of them again.
    They still were stressed.
    So I faced the crowd and yelled I AM GAY AND I LOVE TO SUCK COCK!!!
    Only like 3 people even looked at me for a second or 2 and turned back around. IT DIDNT FUCKING MATTER
    -People rationalize things in THEIR own head to.- eg he lost a bet and had to say that. SO even though I said something super horrible, it didn’t change a thing
    Like 2 mins later I was running a set with a group of girls.
    (I do think some skinny black guy was checking me out later though….)

  4. You only learn from experiences and thats the key to success.
    Damn the part were you are self-couscous about what everyone is thinking about you is basically me. I need to stop thinking about it. I hate writing “this is so inspiring” blabla and just NOT ACT.
    I need to step up and enjoy life. I hate that feeling that I can’t go out of the door without looking ‘perfect’ hair clothes and everything.
    I need to be more casual.
    FIN!

  5. My x use to try and bust my balls by calling me Data (the android from Star Trek TNG)
    Because she thought I had no emotions.
    But I felt I was more like Spock, I have emotions but am just really good at keeping them in check, and I am pretty good at looking at situations logically.
    That is what led to my breakthrough. As soon as I realized how illogical worrying what others thought about me, eg AA……. that was the first step in breaking its grip.
    I was going to include in this post, but will later how the same way of thinking helped me to live in the now.
    Ok enough with the nerd analogy. 😉

  6. Bravo, as always I admire youre honesty in this story, for me this is what sets you apart from all the other PUA coaches out there, you bear your’e soul to guys like us.
    Its sounds like you where brutally honest with yourself and after that you started to make progres and ultimately got the results you deserved because you put the work in
    ‘I was letting my brain convince me that it knew what complete strangers where thinking which then led to me changing my behavior.’
    That is pure NLP & its amazing you found that out for yourself
    Keep up the good work, you are inspiring so many people

  7. smoothcall :

    “I was letting my brain convince me that it knew what complete strangers where thinking which then led to me changing my behavior.”

    It takes some people years and years to become that self-aware. You might be surprised how many people live like that. Or maybe not. Getting over it is a huge step.

    It was funny when I was having these breakthroughs, I was working at the yoga studio and my buddy there who was really into self help and taught yoga would say stuff like “oh you must have learned that from Tolle and the Power of Now,” or ” that sounds like something Tony Robbins said”
    and I would respond- I dont know I haven’t read anything of theirs…

  8. “I was letting my brain convince me that it knew what complete strangers where thinking which then led to me changing my behavior.”
    It takes some people years and years to become that self-aware. You might be surprised how many people live like that. Or maybe not. Getting over it is a huge step.

  9. I had a simliar experience before my current girlfriend. Right on bro. It’s important to get the meaningless sex bug out of the way.

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