What to say when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend

Location: Scottsdale Mall
Date: Jan 5th 2013
Objective: demoing direct, day game for student during 1on1

Me= “So I have a question for you, do guys ever hit on you to try and take advantage of your SWEET discount”

HBSales Girl= “lol, not that I can remember” 🙂

Me= “Well, it’s happening to you NOW! You are incredibly sexy and I want to get to know you better” 😉

HBSales Girl= ” hahahaha OMG you are crazy, I might be able to give you a discount…. but I have a boyfriend…”

The old “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND”.   A line that has crushed more dreams that the all the hoverboard rumors combined!
I get asked how to handle this on almost every first time Coaching Call.
So to save myself from having to explain it time and time again ;),  I am posting how I handle this here- to help all my Bravohood brothers!

First off you need to understand WHY she is bringing this up, which there are a few reasons she could

1. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, and is trying to get you to stop hitting on her
2. She has a serious boyfriend.
3. She maybe has a boyfriend/ or someone she is into, and she is more attracted to him … for now

The first one is the worst. She is trying to be “nice” about blowing you off, which many guys take as-

“ya she was digging my shit and she wanted my D, BUTTTTTT she had a BF”

When really she was just creeped out by him and said it to get him to leave her alone. Since she didn’t check him, he didn’t think how he acted caused it, so he keeps acting the same way, and continues being creepy. (thanks GIRLS!)
If she is in a happy, committed and serious relationship, then when she says that she has a BF= she means it and is letting you know so you aren’t wasting each others time.
So then that only leave #3. Which is the one that you can play with.
Again you have to THINK about WHY she brought up that she “has a boyfriend”. Most of the time, guys aren’t as direct as me, and if they are running indirect game and she drops the BF line, then that means you were triggering the I AM HITTING ON YOU switch in her brain. So to fix that, hold back on anything that she could be picking up as an indicator of interest, throw a disqualifier out there, or change up your stack.

If you are running more cocky/funny direct game, like I prefer, then when I deliver my statement of intent, it make it perfectly clear what my intentions are.
– and my mindset is I would always rather be the guy who went for it and gets rejected, than the guy sitting at home, ALONE, wishing he tried

My joke about guys hitting on her for a discount, is something I got from Seinfeld, I use it ALL the time, and even if I don’t get the girl I can almost always get a discount!!! (and most importantly it is FUN for me to use) so that is a FREE TOP SECRET opener for you guys, that works awesome on Hired Guns- you are welcome.

So did I get her phone number?

Yes!
How I use to respond to the BF line was with something like “Great, I am not looking for a GF, I am looking for someone just to have fun with” 😉  and then I would plow.
OR
“You don’t have to convince me that other people find you attractive” -or another cocky/funny line along those lines.
But then I saw The Break Up. My brother kept telling me to watch it because of the dirty dishes scene

Gary: “Fine, I’ll help you do the damn dishes.”
Brooke: “That’s not what I want. I want you to want to do the dishes.”
Gary: “Why would I want to do dishes?”

Again Vince Vaughn delivers.
But the scene that I thought was the best was the opening scene where he hits on Jennifer Aniston at the baseball game and then when she brings up that she has (and was with) her BF- he plows like a BOSS!!!

So I modified it and that is how I followed up with HBSales Girl.

HBSales Girl= ” hahahaha OMG you are crazy, I might be able to give you a discount…. but I have a boyfriend…”
Me= “Are you going to marry him?
HBSales Girl= “I don’t know….I am only 23…I’m not thinking about marriage yet.
Me= “Then that is a NO!”
HBSales Girl= “no it’s NOT!”
Me= ” yes it is…because if it was a yes, you would’ve said YES, since you didn’t say yes…that means it’s a NO! 😉 I am pretty awesome and we might REALLY hit it off….so you kinda owe it to yourself to see if we click.  You seem like the type of girl who is into really good beer. Have you been to Angels Trumpet Ale House yet?”
HBSales Girl= “no, but I’ve been wanting to check it out!”
Me= “you have to! It’s awesome, tons of super cool beer from all over the place, you have to look at the chalkboard out back to see what they have. So I’ll take you there and we can grab a beer, give me your number and we can go sometime this week.
HBSales Girl= “Ok, here it is (writes it down) I’m looking forward to having a few beers with you! :D”
Me= “No I said A beer…not multiple beers….Right now it is taking every ounce of self control I have not to hop over this counter and just have my way with you. I can control myself if I have ONE beer…but if I have a couple….well I can’t promise you will be safe. ;)”
HBSales Girl= “OMG!!!! You are crazy…..OK I look forward to grabbing a few beers with you ;)”
Me= ” You are a baddddd girl ;)”

We walk out of the store and my student turns to me and says. “What just happened??? She said she had a boyfriend and then a few seconds later she is giving you her number….how is that even possible”
😀

So that is how I handle the BF line, when it RARELY comes up (it rarely comes up because if you are awesome, many a girl who has a BF will NEVER even mention it!)

• Remain unfazed
• Ask if she is going to marry him – if YES, then I would stand down
• Anything other than YES, say “then that is a NO!” with a big smile
• Tell her that you are probably going to hit it off and that she owes it to herself to see
• Transition right into date plans (this girl had a rocker vibe so cold read her and went the beer route, also figured that she hadn’t been to this bar yet because it was fairly new and a bit of a drive from where she worked
• Escalated and ABCed (Always Be Closing)

Point about my morals= I pushed this one a bit, to show what is possible in front of my student and to show off just a little.
If a girl legit has a BF I will not pursue her. I don’t want to be the guy who breaks them up, and I don’t want to possibly START a relationship with a girl on those terms. Many times the girl will later say that she doesn’t have a BF, that he was just someone she went on a few dates with, or she just ended a relationship.