One of most misunderstood terms in Pick Up is
“SHIT TEST”
I see it all the time online (my forum included) and then after I read the post I am left wondering where the shit test was, or even worse, reading something where the girl is making it clear as day that she is NOT interested in the guy but he takes it as a shit test(maybe because she was giving him “shit” when she told him to fuck off??)
So to get us both on the same page, think of a SHIT TEST as a CONGRUENCY TEST.
She is seeing if you are CONGRUENT with the confident vibe you are putting out there, if you really are the confident guy who (unlike most guys in there) had the balls to approach her, and she is seeing if you are man enough….to handle a woman like her.
If you are confident and congruent with what you are spitting, and not just using a few canned lines you got out of a book, it can actually be pretty easy to deal with.
NOTICE that I didn’t say “pass”.
I am not there to PASS her tests, I am talking to her to see if SHE is cool enough for ME. (part of my whole Alpha Male mindset 🙂 )
So just like your job or any hobby you have, if someone asks you a few follow up questions you should be able to respond pretty easily to almost anything they say….because you have legit experience in that area and it is one with you.
Before I became “Bravo” the 2 ways I had to deal with this the most was with magic and my tactical background.
With the gun, knife, tactical teaching stuff- every guy who has served, studied martial arts, or was just into it would want to know HOW I got into it and who I had worked with. There are so many posers in this field, that guys still come up to me at PUA events and will resume check me.
-which I am 100% fine with….because I am congruent 🙂
The BIG area that this really came up with is with magic.
I was really into magic as a kid…but then one day some guys in school said it was dumb, so I stopped doing it. I was still REALLY into it, watched every special on TV there was, and would even do a few illusions during lunch breaks in my gun classes…to relax the vibe. But it wasn’t until I got into self help that I realized a life where I avoided things that I am into because someone that I don’t care about tells me they are lame= a shitty life. So I got back into, REALLY back into it, got pretty fucking good and for a long time magic was one of my PUA crutches. I would carry a few decks of cards on me at all times! But not because I always wanted to be ready, but because if I didn’t have them I wouldn’t be able to DHV, so wouldn’t be able to approach…oh man. It was however, AMAZING at helping me get good at dealing with people’s shit tests. Once you are able to control a large group, deal with guys giving you shit and trying to ruin it, deal with the drunk girl trying to take all of the attention= talking to a few girls is easy son!
So when I came across this vid, it instantly brought me back to some of the shit I had to deal with.
It’s for some new movie about stage magicians, the preview looked dumb, the kid in the video always gets me confused with the nerdy kid from Arrested Development, and to make it worse- the chick in the vid fucks up his shit and didn’t play along
AFTER SHE WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED HIM TO PERFORM
Now one thing I loved about this vid is the way he gave her the business right back. At the end when he really zings her with how he doesn’t want to find her, she even laughs at the end when she says he is “such a jerk”.
She doesn’t REALLY think he is a jerk!
-and even if she does, I would rather a woman have AN emotional reaction when interacting with me than NO reaction, it’s easier to turn a negative into a positive than a DEAD ZONE into a positive.
She clearly has an attitude….. which some guys love, and from my years of experience have a feeling that if a guy couldn’t handle a few of her smart ass remarks there would be ZERO chance she would ever become attracted to him.
Which this leads into something I teach called DEALING WITH RESISTANCE.
I teach there are 3 ways to deal with resistance, and this vid was a great example of 1 of the ways
FORCE vs FORCE
Think about Mike Tyson throwing a punch at your head. Even if you have done some boxing and have a good block, his punch is going to blast right thru you and still do damage.
-less than optimal response
Now think of a 5 year old kid throwing the exact same punch and you block exactly the same. You are going to avoid any damage AND also very likely, the kid is going to hurt their arm/fist on you.
In one instance it was the wrong move, and the other it worked out great. It all depends on who had the stronger force, and they ended up “winning”.
examples=
“those jeans are kind of gay”
“no they aren’t they are actually really cool”
or
“you walk around with a knife in your pocket”
“ya, it’s a great tool and I use it all the time”
See how it can be a fine line between qualifying, just matter of factly responding or like the punch a GREAT response?
One issue, like in the video, is that it is harder to LEAD the story somewhere else…you are just kind of left hanging with the person who’s frame/force was stronger to move on, which once you are good you can start thinking a few steps ahead of others. Also when dealing with people who out rank you (boss, cops, etc.), you maybe don’t want to do this because even if you “win” they can still trump you and fire you, or arrest you.
Dealing with force by meeting with force is definitely a way to deal with resistance…..but some times not the BEST way.
Especially for a guy who is working on improving his PUA skills, it can quickly turn into a pissing match.
If this resonates with any of you, let me know in the comments and I can make this a 3 part-er and cover the next 2 ways.
Tell me if I am or am not on to another shit test. This is from 6 months ago, by the way.
I have gained enough interest from a girl that she has asked to see pictures of my bisexual girlfriend. I believe the first request is a shit test, only because I think I’ve figured out from past attempts that showing her immediately upon request is a fail, perhaps because she’s requested qualification, and I have immediately acquiesced.
In this particular instance I said something like, “I don’t know… a lot of these involve me naked also, and I’m not sure we’re ready for that in our relationship (ambiguously sarcastic)”
When she assured me that we were indeed ready, and that she was willing to pose for a photo for my girlfriend as well, I think I continued the line of conversation by saying something like “I’m doubt you’d be willing to pose for the type of pictures she would want” she again qualified.
Long story short, we got to bring a new girl home that night.
I think this is an example of a shit test like I said, purely because I think I’ve accidentally taken it and failed a few times by saying “Ok, (tail wagging like an eager hound) here she is!” Here’s what I have to offer is always the wrong response.
I don’tknow if she did something to make him angry before the interview or not, but it seemed to me he went in with a plan. It’s almost as is I could see the assessment happening as he was making it. He was cognitively gaming her. He’s probably used to dealing with her type, being recently hugely famous, and she trying to compete in an moderately famous interviewers world of the actually famous. I believe if, after this point, he keeps the push while adding a little pull, he full closes that day. If he hadn’t already@Irish
glad you dug this post, and EXTRA glad you had success with my advice
thanks for the support brother!
Great post, Bravo. I agree with the comment above. He needed to be more congruent. If he said the same things from a powerful place, it would have been almost perfect. But his insecure attitude undercut his great lines. That said, he did well and his material was great.
We’d love to see more on this subject.
P.S. I’m new to this forum. So just wanted to.take this opportunity to say your site and online materials totally ROCK!!! My online POF responses quadrupled when I followed your advice. Thanks, brother!
Oceanus6
I think the guys bring up some good points particularly the 2 before me by ‘Xerces’ & ‘Ryan Holden.’
She may have the largest bitch shield I have ever encountered…perhaps revealing an over inflated self esteem or something…I thought the guy handled things well.
Couldnt view the video here in the UK but simply googled ‘Jesse Eisenberg Does Some Magic From ‘Now You See Me” selected video and I found one to view.
The guy seems to have game…but honestly as hot as she looks, her attitude was starting to turn me off her…failing my own QUALIFICATION criteria (no bitches)
Bravo solid post dude, please post the other 2 from ‘3 ways to deal with resistance’ when you can.
Peace
Awesome post Bravo. I think guys often get confused between shit tests and legitimate disinterest. But I agree, I’d rather get a negative reaction than no reaction at all.
Would love to hear parts 2 & 3!
Love the post Bravo!
I was cracking up at the beginning where you talk about how people on forums talk about being “shit tested” when she is telling him to fuck off haha.
I think alot of guys,especially new ones are too concerned with the technical pua lingo and would do better if they just used their regular people skills they already have (not be in there head so much). Even if they aren’t good with women, its easy to tell if a girl is testing you or telling you to get lost.
Definitely continue with parts two and three. Lots of people need this info.
Great post Bravo. Clarifies some stuff and would love to hear about the other two methods.
Trying to internalize your reframe and mindset “talking to her to see if SHE is cool enough to hang with ME”.
love that…
Great blog post and video, Bravo!
I like the articulate way you explained the difference between “passing” and “dealing” with these congruence tests.
I’d very much be down to read parts 2 and 3!
Still can’t believe you’re sharing this type of knowledge for FREE unlike other scammers in the industry 😀
Definitely interested, and I agree with you: the best way to deal with any tense situation is to be a congruent man.
Short part of a conversation I had with a woman yesterday.
Me: I avoid Miami like the plague.
Her: Oh well, fuck you.
Me: Miami sucks. Overly expensive and I don’t speak Spanish.
Her: Don’t shit on Miami and I won’t shit on you.
Me: That’s retarded. It is a place not a person.
We continued to talk for another hour.
Fuck falling into shit test.
-H
He was handling her shit pretty well.
But the fast talking thing made it look as if he was nervous and was desperately trying to stay afloat on her sea of shit.
But I guess it’s viewed as a part of his personality by now. At least after the facebook film.
That magic part resonated with me so much. Most of the stuff is exactly what happened to me or is currently happening to me.
“Once you are able to control a large group, deal with guys giving you shit and trying to ruin it, deal with the drunk girl trying to take all of the attention= talking to a few girls is easy son!”
Whole-heartedly agree with this; so many people try to ruin a trick that it forced me to figure out an “out” or two and it def helped me build a stronger frame.
Hopefully there’s a part 2 & 3!
That video is AWESOME. That guy is on point.
Great article Bravo – and of course we’d all love to see parts 2 and 3!
This article reminded me of a time where I tried to one up a more senior guy at a new job. Turns out he was also my supervisor. lol
Needless to say it didn’t go over well. Was a really hard lesson to learn. Don’t always uses force on force.
I’m still learning how to have a fun come back. I’ve gotten a LOT better, but have a long way to go.
Looking forward to the other ways to interact in a conversation.
This is good stuff and a great clarification. Absolutely it would be valuable for readers to understand the difference between all 3 types.
The video was awesome. He completely handled her and even had guys from the crew in the background cracking up – ON HER OWN SHOW! I have to wonder if she pissed him off somehow before the interview. Some of my favorites…
“So Freeman plays a magic dubunker…”
“Freeman? Who are you? Freeman? What are you on a baseball team with him?” (sets the tone)
“The problem with the trick is that the thumbs don’t look like the end of a finger…”
“You just have a fat thumb though.” (shit test?)
“No my thumbs fine, thank you. What did you write on your hand?” (throws it back at her)
“Will you say my name into the camera?”
“…I’m just trying to figure out like, what to give it.”
“Like we just broke up…”
“I probably wouldn’t say anything then.” (Bam, slams her again but still with a bit of a smile on his face)
“Like you are trying to find me in a crowded place”
“Ok, Romina”
“That’s it? I would never hear you!”
“The fact is I didn’t really want to find you.”
I think you are right Bravo. She is used to guys bending to her shit and probably wonders why she can’t win with this guy. Awesome.
Give us more!
think the name part was actually filmed FIRST then edited to look that way, from the remark he says before about saying her name
think it is just her thing- with the title of the vid
I understand that he took frame and took over the interview, which I thought he did great, but the end when she ask for him to say her name. I was thinking in a way she just used him for her own career.
Awesome post bravo! The video was good as well. I wouldn’t mind seeig the other two post as well. I think this will definitely help out the newer guys and get everyone on the same page.
Force vs. Force and living your life by what other people say is smart or dumb resonates with me.
Always have to deal with people hating on me for loving people or trying to get to know others. Definitely would appreciate the other two ways. Awesome post so far.