So what is your motivation?

Many times while you are on your dating self improvement journey, you may think about throwing in the towel. That it is too difficult to keep dealing with rejection or maybe even worse, settling for someone because you want to take the easy road out.
Some of the guys I went out with seriously contemplated quitting many times, some acted like quitting was the LAST thing they would ever do, they talked a big game and were here for the long haul no matter what. Then slowly they would get busy and I wouldn’t hear from them. While a few just flat out quit right when we started and dropped off the face of the earth never to be heard from or seen again…
Being the head coach for Stylelife and running the forum for the last few years, weekly I would receive private messages or emails from new guys all telling me to “keep an eye on me, because soon people will mention my name when they talk about Bravo, Style, and Mystery!” I knew that within a few weeks they would slowly disappear, many times that PM was as far as they would go.
I get asked from students all the time, “what kept you motivated when you thought about quitting?
The motivation I had to learn the Pick Up arts was SO powerful that quitting not only wasn’t an option, it was never even a thought.
Now I will admit, maybe my motivation wasn’t the most positive, but it was strong. So strong that it helped force me to go out multiple times a week to all the places I hated (or thought I hated) and test all the stuff I had little faith in.
What was my original motivation?


I just KNEW that one day I would run into my X, maybe at the grocery store, or the bar, or where ever, and it was my goal to make sure that when that day happened she would see me looking awesome, surrounded by women and realize that she had fucked up!
Funny thing is, that day never happened.
Actually I still have not seen her again since things officially ended.
“Success breeds confidence” – Beryl Markham (first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic)
Only a few months into my journey, the spite slowly faded away and was replaced with confidence.
I  KNEW what I was doing was working, I was getting girls I thought I never had a shot with. They were wanting to go out with me, date me, and sleep with me. Once I got to that place, that was all the motivation I needed!
As soon as those successes started stacking up, I didn’t have to search for something to motivate me anymore. I knew that each night I went out something awesome would happen and that was all I needed.
Soon my “spite game” was gone, but what I truly believe what made it so powerful was because it wasn’t just a general reason like we hear all the time.

  • improve my life
  • get a girlfriend
  • become more social

It was a specific reason, something that I could zero in on if any seeds of doubt entered my head.
So I want you to think about this, what is your motivation? Why are you learning this?
You can still have the general reasons everyone lists, but really focus and pick one specific thing that is motivating you to learn some Pick Up skills.
Make it a good one, because when you get shot down for the one hundredth time and are wondering if this is all worth it, hope that what motivates you right now is strong enough to overcome the doubt.
Otherwise you are just wasting your time.
And like I always say, as a guy who went from the bottom to the top of the ladder, the juice is worth the squeeze.

28 thoughts on “So what is your motivation?

  1. i think it’s a natural progression for most of us, that our goals, our motivation, and our reason for learning these skills change as our abilities and our life changes. some people get into the game because they want a girlfriend, but then they find out they really enjoy being single and having the options to date multiple women. others do it the opposite. i got in the game looking for some magical pick up line that would get me in with strangers. and i found that magical line. because what i really learned was confidence. i was too shy to open before, and did not have the balls to attempt any sort of close, wondering what if she says no, what if i’m reading her signals wrong, what if i’ll be embarrassed, what if, what if, what if… but the confidence i’ve built up and learned through studying under guys like Style and Bravo, have taught me that magical pick up line i was always looking for. it’s a foolproof line, but you have to have developed that confidence behind it, you have to know yourself as a person, and you have to enjoy playing the game, for playing the game. if you can do all those things, the magical line is: “hi”…

  2. When I was exposed to this community and PUA skills, I was shocked. What I love about all this is that it made me realize I have been taught all wrong. You are great but I think Ross Jeffries does an amazing job of exposing the fact that dating is evil and will take you nowhere if you are not sleeping with her and that society teaches us things that will screw us over.
    My goals with these skills are to make new friends and of course lovers. I am very young so I don’t want to “date”. I just wanna have friends with benefits. I don’t believe I should immediately be exclusive with a girl until I am older. This is what screws guys over. The thing that drives me to do my best is the fact that I am meeting new people and that I have the skills to do it effectively.

  3. Hello Bravo,
    This letter may or may not be like many others have sent to you before. What I can say for sure is that this letter will not be the last. What you do for guys like me is beyond words and gratitude.
    To clear up who I am…I am an AFC. In many ways perhaps worse. I am a returning AFC. I went by the tag wanderingsoldier. I believe you wished me “all the success I deserved.”
    I don’t expect you to remember me. I was a style life student. I believe you can file me under one of those who did not know themselves…and perhaps even one who was unknowingly wasting their time. One who was looking for a quick fix or an easy remedy to a hole in their lives.
    I read the game. I joined the Academy. I applied its principles, its teachings, its methods. And like an idiot, I took the first signs of success as victory and stopped growing. I took the second girl I managed to bag and became her boy friend. I could not even realize that i was using her to fill a void in my life that was not meant to be filled by a woman. I let her become part of my identity. I let her existence define part of who i was. Instead of being whole on my own, I let her fill a gap. And i was setting myself up for a very painful downfall. I had doomed myself to failure. And this failure almost crushed me.
    Long story short, I proposed to her. We became engaged after a year. Foolish i know. I was thinking with my heart. And as a Soldier I thought i was going to be deployed. I thought i may not come back alive. I thought that that was a good enough reason to do what i did. War is cruel and life is unpredictable. Women can be both as you and I both know.
    My fiancee broke up with me for another guy…a guy she met in an online game. I was crushed…heartbroken. Worse, because I had grounded half of my identity in being her shield, her protector, and her provider, when she left, I was utterly devastated because she took half of my identity with her. This was my fault. No one else could give her that kind of power but me. I was too blinded by my own neediness to see that.
    The hole in my life was re-exposed in a very painful way. Not only did she rip out something that i had grown use to being a ‘part of me’ but she took a piece of my heart as well. It took me months of soul seeking to learn that much about myself. Before I cut off all contact after a few months, I pleaded and made up excuses to get her back. I refused to see her for what she was. I was blinded by an obsession. I can’t even be sure if it was truly love.
    The sting of such a failure is very great. And ultimately this experience was not without its lessons…lessons I forced myself to see over the past several months. I don’t want a quick way out. I want permanent lasting changes. I have a desire…a burning desire to attain what you attained.
    After reading your post, you helped me zero in on my motivation…
    And I’m hoping that one day, like you, my motivation will change…but right now all i can feel honestly, is that i have a seething anger towards my ex…anger because she turned her back on me when i had sacrificed so much and gave her all of who i was…and she dropped me when things got tough…and anger at myself for being weak, stupid, blind, etc…Despite all i did after a year and a half, she couldn’t even be honest with me. And whats more…I couldn’t see her flaws, faults, and weak character traits, and emotional baggage that doomed the relationship probably from the get-go.
    Regardless of how much of the fault was hers or mine, I made poor choices…poor compromises in moments of weakness. I reverted into old habits because i was weak. I let the alpha i had slowly begun to flourish be shoved back in a closet, buried beneath a multitude of bullshit tests, dramatic tantrums, and other garbage. In the aftermath of the break up, i discovered that I was not only alone, but that i had re-shackled the very part of myself that had led me to the woman that would drive daggers into my back and ultimately into my heart. I was broken and worse than before we met. I felt as if I could not go and pick up another woman. I felt like she was the only one and that i fucked up…until now. Why? Lack of identity. Lack of congruency. Weakness.
    I don’t want to be weak. I want to be strong.
    People (especially women) follow strength, not weakness.
    I won’t ask you to watch the forums for my name. Nor will i promise you that I will be the next style, mystery, you, or .
    But what I will tell you is this.
    Thank you. Because in reading what you wrote, I realized that i needed a truly honest and concrete motivator to continue to move me forward. And nothing stings like betrayal, regret, and anger…The desire to prove people wrong…
    I’ll let success (in growing not only as a P.U.A. but as a man in general) be my greatest revenge.
    Perhaps this is truly the only type of “revenge” that can result in anything but emptiness.
    In closing, I’d like to thank you for reading up to this point. I understand you are a very busy man who has his own life to lead in addition to helping so many other students improve not only their game but their lives as well.
    The pain I’ve suffered (while perhaps not comparable to yours or many others out there) is more than enough to keep me fighting for what I chose to give up so easily before. Now, I have a reason with painful experience to remind me why to continue walking the path that I have chosen to walk upon.
    As for a name…well I guess wandering soldier sounds too bulky and complicated. I felt I’ve never had a direction. Ive wandered without purpose. But perhaps wandering with a purpose suits me better now than ever. I’ll wander about working on social interactions until my game becomes better than most. I wish i had thought out a better tag on the forums. I think ive found a suitable name for my alter ego at long last. I guess for the moment just call me

  4. Great post, Bravo!
    My initial motivation was simple curiosity. I stumbled upon the community via David DeAngelo’s Youtube clips, and my interest grew from there. Once I recognised some significant changes brought about in my life and my interactions with women, I suppose my motivation shifted from an attitude of „this is pretty wicked material” to „I want to make myself even better”.
    Hope that helps, and thanks for the great blog entry!

  5. My Motivation is three things. One primary and the other two are close behind. My primary feels very superficial as it is superficial, but to ignore my drive would be foolish and counterproductive
    Primary: To be that Guy that everyone wishes he could be. That guy who is envied for always getting the hot girls.
    Secondaries: Sex with hot Women and Learning to lead a room and people in way to improve my business

  6. Bravo, My motivation was exactly the same when i first got started! Well almost the same. There was this girl that I thought i had loved since the first day i met her, which was in the first grade. We stopped talking, because I was too nervous to even to talk to her. “even after I asked her to be my girlfriend, which she said yes to. A few years later, in the 9th grade, we started talking again. We became good friends, or rater, I got into the friend zone, and after about 4 years or so, she finally broke up with her boyfriend, when I was just starting to accept the fact that we were only ever going to be friends. Predictably, I asked her out. She said yes. And for as day, i was the happiest man on earth. Nothing could go wrong. For a day. The next day she called back, and said the date was off. She’d just rather stay friends. I was crushed. I was so sad. So heartbroken I can’t even describe it. I literally felt a sinking, weighty feeling in my chest that day. i considered killing myself many times. The day after that, I got an email about mystery, started to research who he was, found the game, and the community. I figured I could get other girls, and make her jealous, just to spite her. i wanted to hurt her like she hurt me. But after awhile, I stopped caring about her, or spiting her, and just wanted to be happy with the girls I had met. She later went on to be knocked up, dropped out of school, and is now living wither her baby’s daddy, she dropped all the friends she had, and now has no life. Considering she was one of the smartest people I had ever known, it’s such a waste. Sitting here, typing this in my college dorm, it makes me realize just how far I’ve come. And considering i still have a long way that i can go, it gives me hope.
    I’ve been angry, frustrated, and depressed many times since i joined the community, I’ve even thought about quitting, but i know if I ever did, I’d always miss it, and would go right back to it. I am, and forever Will be, a Pick Up Artist.
    When I look at how my old life was so empty and miserable, and how happy I am now, that’s all the motivation I need.
    I went from the guy that dated one of the ugliest girls in the school, to picking up a playboy playmate, in a period of about a year and a half. When I consider that, It’s all the motivation I need. I’m not done living my life yet.

  7. Big shout out to all the ones comtemplating this as a career or lifestyle. I’ve been in this for 2 years, and I still continue to push through. Over a dozen times I’ve thought about quitting. My good days will forever override the days where I feel like throwing in the towel. Rejection has only made me stronger, and I hope to get more and more rejection, that way when my day comes, I can look back and say I learned like never before. I’m not living the lifestyle I want; not banging hb9’s & 10’s or teaching seminars, and using models as pillows. I know I’ll get there because the only thing stopping me, is me.
    Never give up, never surrender!! – Winston Churchill (and Buzz Lightyear)

  8. Since my divorce I’ve been motivated by the concept of CHOICE. Being able to choose what type of people I want to surround myself with, and more particularly the type of woman I take as a partner. This is in direct contrast to the “take what you can get” pattern of simply accepting the most desirable(or least-undesirable) of the women in my life who display an interest in me. I decided to set about the process of really knowing what I want, and then going out and getting it.
    This leads to the second motivating factor for me, which is ongoing SELF-IMPROVEMENT, or life-long learning. I have always loved working to myself in some way, be it physical or intellectual, and the idea that you can LEARN to be more socially adept and fun to be around, has been a huge eye opener since discovering this community.
    And lastly, it is FUN. Both I and the people I interact with have a lot more fun since I have some studied social skills and concepts under my belt. I always believe that life was meant to be fun.

  9. What has motivated me, other than the obvious enjoyment of T&A, has been growing into a fully developed man.
    A fully developed man has a certain degree of mastery of the important things in life. Love, sex, social interactions, personal growth, finances, and health, are among the areas that a man should have mastery in.
    Learning to attract the type of woman or women that a man wants in his life is directly related to those issues listed above.
    Best of everything to you, Bravo.

  10. My motivation was simple….I was afraid of either ending up alone, or having to settle for someone I would be unhappy with the rest of my life. And that was a sad reality to face.
    But I had no idea how to improve myself in this way. Saw an article on about this book The Game, and it seemed intriguing. I bought it that day, and finished it the next day (instead of studying for the exam I had haha).
    Almost immediately got a girl, but I wasn’t happy yet. I was just acting like an asshole like I thought Style and Mystery were advocating (with the negging etc) so when that girl left went through another 2 year drought.
    Then I met Bravo.
    Since then, I’m much happier, slept and made out with more women than ever before, have more (and better friends, both male and female) than ever before, and, to mention again, HAPPIER.
    So now my motivation is different. Instead of being AFRAID of what i might never have, I am motivated to MAXIMIZE all the good things in my life. And I dont mean just women, I mean maximize EVERYTHING positive in my life.
    Oh, and I forgot to mention I am motivated by my future children. I want to make sure they have a hot mother. Very important for the children 😉
    Its great being motivated by the LOVE of success instead of the FEAR of failure.

  11. Motivation… Spite. Got dumped hard by a girl I thought I loved, said “fuck this”, read the game, joined the community, and started hard off on learning this shit. But like many, I ended up getting busy and have been off/on. But a few weeks ago I re-focused and now I simply want to better my life and just date girls I feel I deserve. I have a fairly big ego, just didn’t have the skills to pull it off. So now I’m on a step by step journey to keep honing my skills.
    Definitely bookmarking this site as Bravo has helped a ton in the past at SLA. Congrats bravo!

  12. My motivation was/ is to prove myself wrong. There was a time when I thought I could never get “that” girl. My motivation was simple. “Prove to me that you are wrong about this.”
    Cool blog Bravo. Nice to see where you are coming from.

  13. My “Spite Game” has popped up a few time throughout the years.
    One of the last times I was in Phoenix out with a bunch of guys from the forum, working on my teaching skills before I moved out to LA.
    I opened a really beautiful who had amazing style (hair, clothes, just really stood out) and she looked at me like I was the biggest Ahole in the club. It actually shocked me because I was just being cool (but a helpful mindset to have is that she isn’t really always a bitch something triggered that response and something I did made her react that way)
    But I will admit, it bugged me. I told the guys what had happened and then decided I needed to make her regret that.
    We were on the roof of the club and she was on one of, us on the other. I then proceeded to open EVERY single set up there. I literally pivoted off every table and people standing inching my way closer until I ended up at the table next to her. I still to this day have NEVER worked a room so well, girls not letting me leave without taking their phone numbers, everyone buying me drinks, just owning the whole place.
    Once I was at the table next to her I had them loving me, laughing, everyone having a blast, then she turned around to see what was going on, after a few mins I said
    “still not sure why you acted like that before, too bad..”
    Then once we were talking it turns out she totally misheard what I opened with and thought I said something else, that was totally dochey. She actually turned out to be really cool and we hit it off.
    The final set I had actually met a really cool girl, but pivoted off her to talk to THE ONE, turned out the one I was focusing on was actually married. Tried to go back to the last girl and she wasn’t feeling it after she felt ditched- opps.
    That was the last time I fully used the powers of my SPITE GAME-haha

  14. Rooster- thought that was great then you were going to go off onto a Lex Luther rant about POWER! – ha, but taking control over your own life, that moment when it clicks and you realize YOU have the power to control it, is awesome!
    Dchipy- wow that is fucked up! Sorry to hear that, having dealt with pretty serious personal stuff, the old line really hits home for me, “What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” – Nietzsche I wouldnt be as strong as I am today if not for all the BS I dealt with before. Awesome that you were able to work past it
    Severedblue- I am the prize! I think the same way. Another one (because I don’t number rate women) is all women want to sleep with me, they just might not KNOW it yet
    Metz- I expect a cruise down the Pacific Coast Hwy
    Zelroth- GREAT mindset, if nothing else at least this will be a great story
    Ger- that is the way great teachers think…:)
    MrMemphis- ditto AND thanks for only posting 1/2 of what I wrote (was thinking about posting all of it but good chance my mom will be reading this)
    Jason- when I started my life transformation (months before I read The Game) THAT was one of the biggest realizations I had, what I had been doing CLEARLY wasn’t working, so I will try all this crazy stuff because things can’t get any worse. It was that mindset that helped me master The Game, I was open to it and gave 100%, and a year later was working for the dude who wrote it

  15. My motivation was having what I had and pretty much always had going with women not working as good as I wanted it to.
    I’ve always been checked out by hot women, but have also always lacked confidence with them.
    I figured since what I had been doing up to that point was not working, doing what the PUAs from The Game and Rules of the Game were doing had to work better.
    In other words I knew that following other people’s teachings couldn’t make me any worse than I already was.
    Around the time I read The Game I had just gone through a hard breakup.
    Meeting my oneitis also provided me a lot of motivation. Pain from that whole experience motivated me pretty well. I needed to move on and find other girls that I knew were better than her.
    I haven’t ever said I quit pickup or ever really thought about that since I’ve learned from the past that quitting just makes me feel like crap and if I quit I won’t get where I want to be. Plus even though pickup can hurt emotionally I know my bones will never break if a woman blows me out of set.
    I want to get with the most beautiful women I can get. That is big motivation for me. I want the social life of my dreams. I want the women of my dreams. I want to live a fuller life. That motivates me now.

  16. “When stuff like THAT is your life, THAT is all the motivation I need!
    and funny thing is, I dont need any motivation for teaching, it is just something I LOVE doing.
    So even thought I deal with TONS of BS you guys, and other PUA coaching can’t even comprehend, it is all worth it because I get to do something as a job that I LOVE.
    Why do I love it, paying it forward, good karma, cool to be able to tell people that my job is that I am a “dating coach”
    Now THAT’S motivation! THAT’S what I’m looking for. Beautiful!

  17. One day, I could get the hottest girl in the bar and leave all the other guys there completely jaw-dropped.
    The next, I couldn’t ride a bicycle.
    When I was a teen, I’d given up on women. I knew I wanted them. I used to have all the typical AFC conversations with myself about how good I’d be if they gave me a chance etc. But bridging the gap proved immensely difficult. Even trying seemed pointless.
    Then I somehow hooked up with one of the hottest gals in the school and ended up in a long-term relationship with her.
    Unfortunately, when that broke down, I was left dumbfounded and clueless. I knew that I COULD get another girl like her…but having been blissfully out of the single loop for some time, I had no idea what to do. But I wasn’t willing to throw in the towel.
    It’s that KNOWING feeling that kept me going out to clubs, failing abysmally sometimes, sometimes doing stuff beyond my wildest dreams, but ALWAYS trying because I wasn’t willing to settle for less. Then ‘The Game’ came along and filled in the blanks.
    To this day, it’s my past successes that keep me motivated. The undeniable evidence that the world’s finest women ARE within my reach if I want them. Even if other aspects of life are going to shit, it’s a burning self-belief that I’ve been lucky enough to have since a young age that won’t let me quit.
    Those who weren’t lucky enough to be blessed with teachers, parents and other people surrounding them filling them with that belief, give yourself the benefit of some perspective. Step away from the pressures of the outside world and do some soul-searching to find the REAL goodness in you. The good stuff that nobody can take away. And use this to affirm what you desire and DESERVE in life.
    Then don’t let anyone shake that. If you’re reading this, then the knowledge you need to do the rest is already within your grasp. Just keeping believing and knowing that you’re on the right path.

  18. First, my motivation was The Game. Style’s transformation allowed me to see anything is possible.
    Another motivation, is probably the worst of them all. An Ex. Not a recent one, but from a while back. An off-and-on thing. I’ll still get…weird when I get certain anchors triggered.
    Currently, my biggest motivation is that I want to do the same thing Style did for me.
    The Game P.87
    “”I’m so happy,” Sasha raved. “This is probably the best day of my life.” As anyone who regularly reads newspapers or true-crime books knows, a significant percentage of violent crime, from kidnappings to shooting sprees, is the result of the frustrated sexual impulses and desires of males. By socializing guys like Sasha, Mystery and I were making the world a safer place.”
    I have made so many stupid decisions in my life. Many of them would never have been made, had I not thought my selection (in life, women, etc) was limited. Now, I know, not only that anything is possible… but I know the “how”. And if I don’t know it, I know a f**k-load of people who can point me in the right direction.
    Every “Sasha” I can show the light to… Every poor ignorant schmuck that I can get fired up enough to do something about his crappy life… yeah, that’s my motivation.
    So… yeah, believe me or not (that’s not my concern) but get used to seeing my smart *ss 😉

  19. When ever I find myself worried about something because of a lack of confidence, I think to myself:
    “What has a better chance of leading to a story I can tell?”
    Whether its “Should I head out tonight?” “Should I learn fire poi?” “Should I send that text?” It always comes down to deciding which one leads to something that would be interesting to hear. (and heading out tonight always makes a better story than sitting at home.)
    I guess in a way, my motivation is to create as many real DHV stories as possible.

  20. I was told one of my Ex’s is the hottest girl I would ever date. That’s part of the motivation.
    Another part is you only get to do this once. I don’t want to look back and regret what I didn’t do. I’ll never regret what I do, but always what I missed out on.
    Another is I love helping and sharing what I’ve learned with other frustrated people. When I buy my Ferrari F430, the first thing I’m doing is calling up a couple close, cool friends, and taking them for a ride with me. It’s my nature to share what others are striving for…and help them along the way.
    And social skills with women is pretty damn high up on every males list.

  21. I like your final motivation 😀 that’s one reason I’m in this game… boobs lol. All my friends (including the girls) give me sh!t about it.
    At the same time, I believe, be it delusion of grandeur, that I am a great prince, and that I have to live up to that ideal. A man of uncommn value, I see many beautiful women I know bitch moan and cry to me that their relationships fall apart because they cannot find a man of value.
    I am that man, but I’m seeing someone at the moment. They just have to wait in line 😀
    May success stay with you always, Bravo.

  22. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a while and honestly thought she was the one, I had never been happier then one day she was pregnant. We talked it over and deiced we could do this; she wanted to go home and visit family and was to call me when she got back.
    A week and a few days had past and I found out from her friend I bumped she was sorry to hear we broke up! She wouldn’t answer my calls and when I went over to her place she told me she was leaving town and didn’t want to face me. She had an abortion and wanted to skip town and tell me once she was long gone, I was crushed.
    A year had past and I still felt like a failure of a human being, a good high school friend was in town over xmas holidays and we went out for drinks he was always awkward with women, I was never a star I always seemed to fumble and bumble my way into relationships because I was never afraid of making an ass out of myself. I hadn’t even looked at woman never mind talked to one in over a year. He was talking about this book a friend of his had about “The Game” I didn’t believe a word of it so I said “show me how it’s done” Boom my awkward was chatting up a table of four woman and he was now waving me to come over and meet them. All night long he showed me how easy it was to talk to women to keep them interested and I was hooked.
    The next day we talked about what had happened. He told me to go buy the book and read it for myself. That I need to get out of my funk and start living again. So I went out and bought “The Game” a week later I had read it cover to cover and then he told me about the 30 day Challenge, I went out and did mission 1-3 that day.
    For me my motivation was to get over the ex and to reclaim my life. Today I want to better myself have EPIC nights out, every time I go out… while in the process finding that one I thought I had.

  23. The game made me self aware, as opposed too self conscious. For the first time I feel that I have the chance to control myself, so many people are out of control, always reacting, never doing. I always knew that, but something about game just got me going and I’ll continue with it until something changes.

  24. ——————————————————————————–
    After reading the game and the rules of the game I realised that everything I had been doing with girls (and my life in general) in the past was wrong.
    I knew nothing about how girls ‘test’ guys and show indifference to you even when they like you and WANT you to date them, I simply bailed out of sets thinking ‘she’s not into me’. I would simply justify this by saying ‘what a *****’.
    There were times when I thought the right thing to do was ‘to be persistant’ and ‘push’ for what I want. I did. But I was doing this without offering any kind of value to the girl, without amplifying any attraction. I was completely unable to read the signs of when a girl is into me or when she is simply ‘entertaining’ me out of politeness.
    I remember a a time I went on 10 consecutive dates with a girl, building a shrine for her, hoping to God that she would like me, buy her gifts, flowers and dinner, write poetry for her etc. And in the end she said to me ‘I don’t know where this is going’, we stopped seeing each other, I felt confused and demoralised. I didn’t even get to hold her hand or kiss her.
    Oh man.
    For years I sat on the sidelines watching beautiful women go by and doing nothing about it, romantacising about the fact that ‘things will just happen.’
    My general strategy for picking up girls was to drinkg 6 beers and simply stand around and wait for eye contact, then approach with my all purpose rapport seeking, value sucking opener ‘hi what’s your name?’ ‘so what do you do?’ and so on. I knew nothing about how this lowered my value, and I always wondered why I ended up with low value girls.
    I thought hot chicks were *******, I used to come up with elaborate excuses as to why things never ‘worked out’.
    The thought of picking up a girl in a ‘non social’ environment, like the supermarket, simply dd not occur to me.
    I always chickened out of an approach not because I was afraid of rejection but because I ‘simply had nothing to say’.
    Looking back, I know now EXACTLY what a lame ass chode I’ve been, all of those times of confusion, seem enlightened now.
    I joined the community, read books and forum posts…all my questions were answered
    What motivates me…POWER

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