-I have been sharing this post a lot during recent Coaching Calls and our weekly calls in my Monthly Coaching Program, it has been 11 years since I first wrote this so wanted to add some more details and share the logic behind this number close in this post.
#1 This is not the BEST number close out there! This is an attraction test build into a number close.
#2 If you want the BEST number close, then that is simple= you be awesome bring up a cool DHV date you think she will love, invite her, then get her number to handle logistics. Phone Game is not where you should try to build a connection, do your “selling” face to face.
This number close was developed out of necessity, I was hitting a sticking point and couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I was getting more phone numbers in a week than I had in my entire life, but less than half of them would respond when I would text or call. I wasn’t happy with those results and couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.
Because of where I was at skill wise, it had to be something I was doing wrong with my texts, or the fact that I was calling them instead of texting.
So I started experimenting around with the different phone tactics, not leaving voicemails, leaving voicemails with open loops, not texting, sending crazy/over the top text messages, texting them things that weren’t true- like saying I just saw their exact twin somewhere (I read that on a forum to do), calling from blocked numbers, calling them and only talking for a few mins, talking to them for hours, or texting them right after I got their number, nothing seemed to help!
Not only was all of that crap a ton of work, but it never felt congruent with me. If I wanted to talk to someone on the phone I talked to them, if I was too busy to talk, I texted. Using other guy’s tricks and lines, or texting things that weren’t true just felt slimey and I still wasn’t getting better.
Then something clicked in my head from my martial arts training=
Position before Submission
Which means that setting things up correctly are more important and help lead to a submission.
Guys want to know how to do flying armbars and twisters in BJJ, but if they can’t even hold guard or pass someone else’s guard, it’s really a waste of time to even think about that advanced stuff because you will never even get to it.
It also means that if you are having trouble at one spot in your dating life, it actually isn’t just that spot you need to work on, you also need to fix what you did leading up to it moment.
The reason I was having trouble with the girls on the phone wasn’t my phone game, it was everything I had done BEFORE I even tried to get them on the phone.
So to test this out, I stopped going for a woman’s phone number like I normally did and came up with an “attraction test” way of seeing if she would OFFER her number to me.
If a woman FREELY offers you her phone number= good chance she is into you!!!
The Bravo Number Close-
“Wow it’s been cool getting to know you, but my friends are heading out (I need to get back to my friends, hitting the road, whatever..) we have to figure out a way to keep this going… do you have any ideas on how we can do that”?
Some of her possible responses are:
- I could give you my phone number! (YES)
- Some kind of funny remark, “well there are these things called CELLPHONES” then you say “oh that’s what those are for!” Then hand her your phone (YES)
- Well you could give me your number. (Cool then SWAP numbers)
- IG/Facebook/social media – a sign that you did not build ENOUGH of a connection
- Maybe I will see you here again- you built almost NO connection
The reason I like this method so much is
- It is HER idea to give you her number, you are not tricking her into it, not putting her on the spot to give it, etc.. She is freely deciding to offer it.
- Because it is HER idea it is MUCH MORE SOLID
- If she doesn’t offer it, you instantly know you need to work on building a connection, you don’t have to wait after a week of phone tag to find out where you stand, and can use that time and energy on new approaches.
- The big drawback to this is with other number closes; if you get the number you can still build upon it later using phone and text game. With this, if she does not offer you the phone number it is then harder to get and build on. I have other numbers to concentrate on and would rather know as soon as possible where I stand with her. I am also using this as a TEST to see how solid I am building a connection with her and not just worrying about getting the number
I hope this helps you guys and comment below if you have any questions, or post any feedback of you trying this out!